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[08 Sep 2005|10:47pm] |
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 tired |
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yeah so i'm tierd. i have school tomarrow and have to get up at 7.then to the mall after!!yaya!!!
<3johnny i love ya baby!
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[02 Sep 2005|07:49pm] |
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mood |
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yeah, so im in college. rofl, great expectations from the parents, barley any from me...
i can't beleive i'm working and going to school, so much stuff happening in such little time.eh:(. whatever though...school started last week, but i missed all those classes because hccc fucked me over, so i start this week...hurray:(. but yeah, im excited, i guess. i want to go to school and everything, i just don't want to go there..so i guess i should prepair for no time to just relax with john, but rather, going to school then work or work than school, and in between finding time to do homework. its all for the best though, it keeps me occupied, and keeps me knowing im going to stay in school, and teaches me responsibility. god, growing up sucks. and it sucks even more when your watching yourself do it as opposed to just doing it.know what i mean?
<3john
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[18 Aug 2005|02:12pm] |
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i got a job and its a d and f deli, and i've had it for a little over a month now, i want to quit.:( boo.
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| prom and after prom:) |
[11 Jun 2005|10:58pm] |
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 bored |
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so, friday, june 3 2005 was the senior prom. it was okay. it didn't feel like prom, but i had fun. the only thing is, everything i've been looking forward to this whole year is over. it doesnt feel like its over, i feel like im still waiting for it.
well, anyways.. this is how friday went:
1. woke up took a shower got dressed
2. went to school
3. went to john's after 4th pd.
4. got my hair done at 12:30
5. got my nails done at 1:30 and got suckered into a pedicure
6. went home
7. called john
8. got off the phone with john at around 4ish
9. put on my make-up and last touch-ups on hair
10. put on panty hoes, dress, shoes and jewlery
11. waited for my mom to come pick me up
12. went to john's house at 5:30 for pictures
13. took pictures
14. went to angeliques house and waited about 2 hours for her to finish getting ready
15. everyone was ready, took pictures outside with everyone's parents more anxious than us
16. got into angies car with angie, dan, and johnny
17. drove to the prom
18. made a wrong turn in some driveway that i thought was an actual street :/
19. made it to the prom
20. walk in with john and see alot of people
21. Steph Mcmillan is the first to walk up and say hi (she looked beautiful)
22. went out for a stoge break
23. actually most of the time was a stoge break haha
24. tried to get our pictures taken 3 times and got denied all three times
25. ate the worst diner ever...yucky chicken that was stuffed with yummy rice and had some veggies on the side and a rich looking tater tot...
26. finally got our pictures taken
27. got our tabel pictures taken, everyone had to move their seats because john was the tallest...so we were in the middle
28. more stoge breaks
29. slow danced with johnny <3
30. had lots of pictures taken
31. king and queen were announced(joe dolahan and jess almedia won and angie, mike wells, marissa, jerry neri, and a few others won court.)
32. looked for everyone and eventually left
33. went to john's house to get quickly changed
34. went back into angies car and dropped dan off to get changed
35. went back to angies, got liquor from her basement, put it in her trunk and went on her front porch for yet another stogie
36. angie got changed and we went back to dan's to pick him and joe kelly up
37. packed ride down the shore ( i slept the whole time)
38. dropped dan and joe at their house and went inside to see what it looked like
39. went to our house, got there at three in the morning and relaxed
40. went to sleep at like 6 in the morning with johnny and it was awesome
so thats prom day..let me fill you in on after prom:
first day:
woke up to everyone yelling its drunk day...went to see what all the comotion was about and saw everyone drinking at like 9:30 in the morning
stayed awake but in our room
me and john got ice cream and waffles
then we went back home
chilled for most of the day
drank a little beer, not too much for me though..
had some brazillian kid (danny) trying to fight john all day for no reason
julie mullin decided to pull a stunt on us
she brought like 25 kids over our house
john and ana kicked them out
julie had a brat attack and left with her two friends
started to get tired so me and john tried to go to bed for the night
stayed up a little later
john had the meatball joke
me steph mackin and her boyfriend rich laughed at it for three hours
some trouble was sturring downstairs
kyle O. brought magda upstairs so brazillan dan wouldn't get ahold of her
brazillan dan came up stairs
everyone asked nicely for him to leave, but he decided to be a big meathead and think he was tough..
he was getting in john's face again for the 4759367 time that day
i got real mad and told him to get the fuck out (noone messes with my johnny<3)
he throws beer in my face
angie hold me back from beating the shit out of him and someone else is holding johnny back from beating the shit out of him
i start to cry
john makes me feel better
im proud of john for keeping his temper
brazillian asshole leaves after punching a hole in sara's wall
everyone stays awake because of all the shit that just went down
we find out that brazillan dan and his gay friends are responsible for getting dan p and josh's house raided
we eventually go to sleep
day 2:
Me and john wake up from yet again the most comfy sleep ever by yet again random peoples voices
steph mcmillan and george show up
we chilled all day and had a nice time
random kids walk in and out of our house like all day
johnny kicks a bunch of people out again, because he's the infourcer rofl..
steph invites me and john to stay at her gramma's house...
we go
this house is more like a mansion me and john are amazed
had an awesome sat. sun. and monday there with steph and george
we go to sleep after some penaculadas and some beer and tons of food
day 3:
we wake up so relaxed and comfortable
we go to the beach
its real foggy at LBI but still beautiful
me and john go in the water
its freezing but we stay in for a little
steph and george take pics and we take pics
we go back home to stephs grammas and chill
we go out to eat at some chinese place..buffet kind of thing
we chill all day and theres a huge thunderstorm that night
me and johnny took a nap sometime around 6ish and woke up that night at like 9
we watched some movies and went to bed
day 4:
we wake up yet again so relaxed and comfy
everyone gets ready and we all head back to seaside that afternoon
we hear that everything is okay there but the night before got a little roudy
me john steph mackin steph mcmillan and george went to the beach at seaside
me and john went in for a while
george dove in
dan and them came and nick G burried himself in the sand
we went back home
i tried to make hotdogs and hamburgers on a coal grill..it worked just not that good
we ate the food and just chilled
first time i got tipsy
me and john go get some pizza and its awesome at the time
we go back home
chilled for the rest of the night
steph and george leave
me and johnny go to bed and find a nice surprise when we make the bed...ana and jermain roflllll yous are funny
so we get to sleep
day 5:
we wake up again to everyone screaming rofl
we get out of bed and see whats going on
everyones just chillen
alot of people leave today like m wells and the video game kids
we make some random guy take a pic of everyone in the house on the front steps
they all leave
its quiet in the house...but not for long
steph mackin invites mad people to our house
i try to take a nap but get woken up by random people and a ball bouncing
i look out the door and see mark garapoli kyle plagic ethan mulligan and a few others
everyone chills
more people come
john and mark kick everyone out
everythings chill
me and john go to the beach and just watch the water on the sand
i carve in the sand "john n ange 8*1*04"
wished that i had a camara to take a picture
its kyle o's birthday too so we all take pics with him while he smashed
john and adam go to 7-11 i hear it was awesome
me and john stay up to see the sun rise
we go to the beach and watch it
i didn't bring the camra with all film in it so yea...didnt get aot of sun rise shots
we got attacked by buggies
saw some brave birds dive into the freezing cold water
and we saw dolphins jumping up all over the place
it was georgous
we went back home and went to sleep
day 6:
we wake up to everyone cleaning
we all go out to breakfast/lunch to mcdonalds
bill is getting sick everywhere so we leave him home
we clean up everything and head home
we realize we left beer in the house but the guy already took the keys
we got back to kearny and its nice and humid :(
we get dropped off at john's house and eat some awesome homeade food:):)
we relaxed and had some ice coffee as well
then i went home to sleep without my johnny :(
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[16 May 2005|11:59pm] |
it's weird how reality just hits you in the face sometimes. i mean, theres so much out in the "real world" and its crazy because while your a kid growing up you just can't wait till your 18 and you can move out and not deal with parents and all that other shit. then when your in high school you can't wait to get out and away from all the shitty people. then as soon as you blink, it seems, its all over and you don't have the security of high school anymore.
i mean, when i was a kid, the only thing i could ever wish for was to be 18 and get the hell out of this shit hole house and shit hole family with the shitty alcoholic mom and all her alcoholic boyfriends and the scum bag dead beat father who doesnt give a shit about you and only wants to fuck every woman out there and doesnt even think twice about asking his kid if her friends mothers are single and if they're decent looking. the only thing i wanted to do was get out of here and away from the sisters that annoy the hell out of you for no good reason and don't care if your feelings are hurt by what they say and don't give a shit about anyone or anything else but themselves.
then i got to high school and i wanted to get away from the nagging teachers, nagging friends with their bullshit problems that you just listen too to be nice and give moral support even though their problems are nothing compaired to yours and you know that and just don't want to say anything beause you don't want to bring anyone down more than they already are with their stupid teenage problems and the "best friends" that stab you in the back just for a boy or something stupid like that. i just wanted to get away from my family, fake friends, asshole boyfriends that treated me like shit for so long and i delt with it beause i didn't think i coud do better. i wanted to leave all that shit behind.
then it all changed and pulled a 180 on me when my mom got sick. the true friends that were there for me told me i was the strogest person they knew because i could deal with it like there was nothing wrong. this is when everything broke down in me and i wanted to get away from everything. i wanted to get away from all my friends even the true ones that i had, i wanted to get away from that stupid boyfriend, i wanted to get away from all my family, and it was like, high school was the only thing that i could do to keep my mind off everything else. my best friend told me i was so strong, but i knew that i was anything but because i didn't deal with anything. i just kept it bottled up. that was the year i grew up and lost my childhood.
now i look back to when i wanted to be grown up and be 18 and get out here and how much happier it would be when i turned 18. and now all of a sudden i just want to go back in time and be a kid again because 18 is three weeks away and everythings the same. the only difference is i have more responsablities and more pressure and more stress. its like the only thing that im looking forward to is johnny and going down the shore after prom. i mean, i'm going to be 18 and i can't move out of this shit hole house, i can't get out of this shit hole family, and i just moved up to a more shitty school that i have to pay for.
graduation is next month and im so scared because i need the safeness of high school. i need the nagging teachers. i need somone to point me in the right direction and help me if i have a question. i need to know where im going in the hall ways and i need my teachers to know my name. not only do i need all that, i just need to be a kid for a little while longer beause i'm so grown up and i can feel it inside. im going to be 18 and i feel like im fucking 25 years old.
theres so much stuff bottled up in me, i don't know what to do with it. i mean the past two weeks while watching everwood at john's house i just fucking cried and cried because the main girls mother got cancer and all i could think about was my mom. and then today the doctor was talking about his first patient and she had three kids and the best laugh he ever herd. when he said that she had an aneurysm and she died while he was trying to save her, i started to cry again. everytime i hear that fucking word "aneurysm" come out of someones mouth it feels like someones grabbing my heart and turning it and twisting it and ripping it out of me and i cant help but cry because it fucking hurts so bad.
the good thing about all this crying is that i know im finally getting over this big whole thing that i couldn't deal with two years ago because i was too young. the bad part is that i should have been over it two years ago when it happend because its tearing me apart right now. i feel like im stuck in this chapter on this one page that i cant get passed. its like im the main character and everything else is going well and the only reason why i know that is because i read ahead and now im just stuck on this page that i cant get passed and when turn the pages they're all the same.
i mean, im so in love and happy with john right now, i know that my true friends will always be there because they have been when i needed them most, my mom is better, my grades are the best they've ever been, but im just stuck right here in the past dealing with this huge thing that happened two years ago.
i was in john's bathroom tonight looking at myself in the mirror holding back tears and then i just thought to myself, wow, what if she died. then i pictured the funeral and i just cried so hard because i saw everyone that i knew looking at me with pitty and sympathy while i cried at my mothers casket. the two faces that stood out to me most were john and his mom. then when i relaxed i thought, well she's going to die after i'm 18 so i wont have to live with my dad and then i started crying again because how could i think like that about my mother. i know she really fucked up with raising me and my sisters, i know she's an alcoholic, i know she puts me and my sisters in situations that we shouldn't be in with her alcoholic boyfriend, but she is my mother and i love her with all that i am.
i wish i could just let go of the past and focus on now because i'm scared as hell to be leaving high school and the rest of childhood. i scared as hell to be a "real adult," im so scared that i might fuck everything up, not be able to pay for college, not get a good job, mess up my whole future. i'm so scared that i wont have my mother to rely on for the little things that she's only there for. im scared that im gonna lose this house that i hate so much because we cant afford it. im scared that everythings going to change again and for the worse. i just so scared of growing up. i wish i never made the wish to be 18 and happy, i wish i would have known what was coming because then maybe i wouldn't have gotten my hopes up.
to john,
your the only thing that keeps me going and that makes me feel like its all okay. your the only one i can trust my heart too and know that you wont break it. thank you so much for all you do. thank you for dealing with me and with my problems as well as your own. i couldn't have wanted to fall in love with anyone else but you because you complete me. without you john, there is no andrea, and i just wanted to let you know that i love you so much words can't describe it. i love you baby, and don't ever forget it.
<3Ange
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| alcohol...pfft... |
[20 Apr 2005|12:03am] |
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i don't know, maybe this is just how its supposed to be:
"Don't be mad at me for drinking alcohol"
"...okay"
"I didn't know that i was going to get drunk like this"
"yes you did, otherwise you wouldn't have had me call angie and ask her for a ride to school tomarrow"
"..I...I...I'm sor sorry..i think i drank too much"
"When have you ever NOT drank too much?"
::few minutes later::
"can you just get out, please just get out, i have to wake up early"
"Andrea, don't be mad at me"
"Just get out"
"im sorry, but i love you"
"okay, get out"
::mom walks out of my room, i cry::
"i'm not gonna cry this time'
::cries::
::comes downstairs to smoke sorrows away::
"i can't wait to get out of here."
Its funny how you can be so happy one minute, then it all turns around when your alcoholic mother and her alcoholic boyfriend come home.She could have just came home not so drunk and driven me to school...but of course not, she's not my mother, she's just my legal guardian that gave birth to me...
So what the hell am i supposed to do...
pfft..forget this. i gotta get out of this place.
<3i love you johnny, you save me...
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[29 Mar 2005|10:51pm] |
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its so beautiful right now, everythings so beautiful.
<3 i love you with everything that i am.
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| i don't even know. |
[22 Mar 2005|12:26am] |
i kind of feel like everythings colapsing on me.
<3i love you
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| i can't control my feelings and its scary. |
[18 Mar 2005|05:03pm] |
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/angry/enraged/helpless |
] |
idk. i feel so sad.i just got off the phone with my sister. she's so high on pain killers, i can hear it in her voice. she's supposed to come home tomarrow.i feel so sad about it, like i want to cry. but then again, i feel like if i cry, its for a stupid reason because i know she's going to be okay. im just real sick of hospitals. i've had enough of people that are so close to me getting sick and hurt. i havnt even delt with when my mom got sick, now i have more. i don't really know what to do. I was talking to her, and she said she can't wait much. she said her back really hurts, and i can hear the pain in her voice. god, i hate stupid drivers that don't know what they're doing. the truck hit the car my sister was in on the passanger side, which is where my sister was, and pushed it like 7 ft into a pole, so the whole car is totaled and my sister is the one that gets screwed out of the whole deal. the my sisters friend who was driving got some scratches, but my sister can barley walk. i feel like im blowing this whole thing out of proportion but i can't help it. i feel so mad that she has to go through so much pain and i feel so mad that someone else so close to me is in the hospital. i can't even imagine what this is doing to my mom. she is so tired when she gets home and when she gets up in the morning. shes not like her normal screaming her head off type of mom anymore. she is getting older from these past few days and i can tell.i could just tell by her face. she doesnt smile anymore or laugh. she's just miserable. it pisses me off so much to see her like that. miserable. she's been through enough. i mean, i know she's not the best mom and all and that she drinks almost every night, but that doesnt mean she has to watch her kid go through so much pain. especially with what she's been through already. my heart hurts so much. the only one that makes me forget about everything is john and i can't even see him at all this weekend. i feel so alone. it hurts so bad.it hurts so bad.
<3johnny- i love you so much i wish you were here.
~Ange
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| hum. |
[18 Mar 2005|12:01am] |
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my sister got into a car accedent last night. she's hurt pretty bad. she's at the hospital still. she might need surgery on her back. im kind of scared. i need a stoge.she was supposed to be home by now, they said they only needed her for 24 hours. im kind of scared and nervous. god, i hope she's okay. i really really hope she's okay. i miss her.
<3i love you johnny
~Ange
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| yes. |
[16 Mar 2005|12:46am] |
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hey,
whats up? nmh. i havn't written in a while. well i have lots of news. prom week is getting closer and closer.I can't wait to just be with john in a house down the shore with all my coolll ass friends. also, prom is the day after my birthday, so looks like that whole week is gonna be a birthday party for me rofl. i can't believe im going to be 18..Well i did that College thing. Im doing it now. Its pretty good. Alot of work though, especially for the english class. Lots of essays..john helps me out ALOT with them though. he's the best. I'm not going to be able to see him much this weekend though.its gonna suck. but i get to pass the time with my friends that i havnt really hungout with in a while. Im gonna miss him so much, i can feel it. im sure i wont even be able to have much fun. but yeah, so everyones going to see the musical, so i guess i am too. me and john are going on 8 months. i can't believe how fast time is going by right now. its intense. lots of drama, let me tell you. well, for one thing matt and pat don't like me anymore. they said i "stole" john away. eh, idk, i have nothing against them so whatever to that.i got julie pissed at me because i wasnt going to after prom with her because we didn't really make plans, but everythings cool now, im in a house with angie, and julie and steph are with steph mackin. im so looking forward to prom week. its like why i wake up in the morning, besides knowing that i could see john in a couple hours. Me and john are going real strong. i love him with all my heart and i know he feels the same. john's family is the best too. his sister shelly is letting me borrow her jr. prom dress. its so pretty! its white and strapless and little rhinstones on the top and oh i love it! im just going to have to go tanning soon because im too white for the dress rofl. god, i so need this prom week. vacation much needed. the best part, is i get to spend it with john<3 im so excited.i havnt talked to jill in a real long time, nor have i seen her. i miss her. im thinking about her because i just remembered she's the one that made my livejournal layout. okay, well, im freezing. im gonna go, maybe ill update after another six months..haha..
<3 i love my baby johnny
~Ange
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[14 Nov 2004|04:09pm] |
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Hey
I was just watching cheaper by the dozen, and i realized, i want a big family. not just a big one, i want like 8 or 9 kids. i want a family thats so big that no matter what theres always something going on, and no matter what, theres always going to be someone there for you. i want a huge family and i want it to be perfect. and when i picture this family, i see myself with 8 or 9 kids and the only other person i can even picture myself with is john. his family is the exact family i want. i want everything to be so perfect, theres nothing i would prefer.and the fact that john's the only person i can see it all happening with, makes me feel so good and so much like it will all work out because theres nothing better than having the perfect family with the one person you love. i mean, i know it sounds crazy, we've only been going out for almost 4 months. but these past 4 months have been so awesome. the best actually. i mean, im 17 and thinking about having nine kids, rofl. i can't help it though, i wish i had a family like that. i wish that i had so many brothers and sisters that i would never be bored. i mean, i love my sisters to death and we get along so well most of the time, and i would never give that up because they are fun and so spontaneous, i just wish there was more of them, that way while my mom is out, and my dad is never around, i would never think about it. my family is going to be so much better than the one i have now, im always going to be there for all nine of my kids, and im never going to put anything/anyone before because i can't stand that both my parents do that now. i don't know why i feel so strongly about this, but im glad that i do and im glad that the person i see myself having all these kids with is john because honestly, i wouldn't have it any other way. i mean, i can only see myself getting married and having so many kids with him. if i were to marry anyone else, im sure i wouldn't even consider having kids, just because i wouldn't know how long the marriage would last..but if i were to marry john, i know the marriage would last forever..i want the feeling that john has when he walks in his house. the feeling of not being able to be in one room without someone else there. the feeling you have so many people that are so nice and loving and caring. i can't wait until i grow up. haha, i just hope me and john will be together and have this family that i want so badly. i hope i don't scare him away with this...but its just how i feel. i feel so overwhelmed with like, happiness its weird and all because i watched a movie and imagined how it would be for me and john to have a family like that? its kind of ironic too because i was telling john how awesome his family is. he's so lucky.
well, im out of here. haha, everyone that read this is probly thinking i have soemthing wrong with me...i don't care though...its a journal, its what you feel...and this is how i feel right at this moment. whoever reads this will probly think im acting like a little girl or immature, but i don't care, if thats what you think, keep it to yourself.
<3JOHN
-Ange
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| YOU KNOW MY NAME |
[05 Nov 2004|02:04pm] |
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mood |
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 cold as ice |
] |
What up guys!
I'm sitting in my house, and its freezing cold. I'm supposed to be doing chores, but yeah, thats not going to well, seeing as I'm still sitting on my ass in front of this computer. I was supposed to hangout with John today, but he can't hangout becuase he has to get his shirt from his mom's car to go to work, and his mom is at her work, so yeah, he couldn't hangout, bummer:(..but we'll hangout tomorrow hopefully:).I'm catching up on my megadeth seeing as im going to their show on wed. Them and Exodus are playing, its gonna be the shit.Almost everyone is going, me, john, julie, matt, mike, some guy that matt knows from work with no teeth, steph, george, julie's brother and girl..yeah, alot of people are going. It's not going to be the same without pat evan and jilly...sami should be going too, wtf is this? But yeah, its gonna be the shiz..Steph B called me today to see if i wanted to work..i don't really want too, but i probly should seeing as she would do it for me and plus, i bet guardina is stupid and didn't get the memo karen wrote her, and gave me actual hours for wed. and thursday, when i asked for those days off...sigh, and i would need someone to take wed. for me def....its going to come back and hit me in the face :( and that sucks..yeah, so i probly should have went to work, just because im probly going to wind up doing nothing all day and night. if im still tihs bored by 5:30 im going to work...yeah...brr. im so cold its crazy! but whatever...i need actual hours with this fucking job, none of this "on call" bullshit...this shit is fuckin' bull.sigh, i wish i had hours.i love megadeth, they're so fuckin' good..HELLO ME ITS ME AGAIN!wooh. i love it...alright, well, if anyone can think of something to do before 5:30 call me otherwise, im going in to work...LATER.
<3JOHN
-Ange
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| blah |
[28 Oct 2004|03:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 listless |
] |
Hey,
Well, I'm supposed to be working tonight, but I don't have a ride so I'll have to call in and tell them I can't make it. Why can't I make it you ask? BECAUSE MY MOM WILL GIVE A FUCKING RIDE TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FUCKING TOWN OF KEARNY, IN THE FUCKING STATE OF NEW JERSEY, BUT SHE WONT GIVE HER OWN KIDS FUCKING SHIT!Its not like I need a ride to a friends house around the block, I need a ride to rutherford to go to WORK. You know, she doesn't even have one of those things, those things you call a fucking job.GRRR. So yea, this is bullshit, and fuck her.Sigh, yeah, so I hungout with John for a little bit, I got him mad because I was being stupid. :( Sorry. I got the news today that I have to write an essay on my goals in life for Hudson County Community College. Yeah, and its due by tomorrow. Rofl, yeah, so what the hell am I going to write? I have no goals other that that I want to be a child psychologist. yeah, rofl, WACK. So yeah, thats about it for today,so far, its only 4 almost, and its gay that I have nothing to do except this wack ass essay and I can't go to work to make money.. wtf? Alright, well, I'm out, later kids...
<3JOHN
-Ange
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| so early... |
[16 Oct 2004|10:39am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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hey,
I've been up since 9 oclock this morning. Well, that maybe because I went to sleep at 5 in the afternoon yesterday. I have work today from 3 till like 10ish. I think Angie and me are hanging out tonight after work. I hope Guardina doesn't make me climb that huge ladder again just to put bra's on the top of the damn shelf thing.That job sucks, especially since I'm not really feeling good. So yeah. I got at 80 on my vocab. quiz. probly the highest grade I'll get for vocab. then I got a 98 on Alg. 2 so things are looking up i guess. I got a 70 something on my physics test for Ridley rofl, I don't know how..so this is good. If we are moving, which I'm sure we are (I just don't know when), we are moving somewhere in kearny, so thats good.I can't really wait for this day to be over so I can see John tomorrow. I miss him. I havn't seen him for like 2 days, counting today, which really isn't much, but I still miss him. I have to do my college application for Rutgers, and Mr. Schdmit still hasn't called me down for my sr. interview. I'm thinking of doing the college thing that the school is providing for the seniors this year. It's a new program where you can go to Hudson Community College and take three college courses and get college credits and they count as your high school credits too. so three days of the week you go to H.C.C. then come back by 4th pd. and you finish the rest of the day in h.s. and then 2 days of the week, you get to sleep in late and then go to school 4th pd. and finish the day there. It's a win win situation. I just hope I'm able to do it.Alright well, im out.
-Ange
<3JOHN
p.s
-- name: Andrea
-- Birthdate: June.2,1987
-- Birthplace: Claramass Hospital
-- Current Location: Kearny Nj
-- Eye Color: Hazel/Green
-- Hair Color: Brown
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Gemini
-- Innie or Outtie: Innie
// series two - describe
-- Your shoes wore today: Black old school converse.
-- Your hair: Curly and long.
-- Your eyes: Tierd.
-- Your weakness?: Being tickled
-- Your fears: Dying,Bugs,Losing John
-- Your perfect pizza: Dominoz reg. pizza:)
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: Being well off in the future.
// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on aol: ROFL or forl...:\
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Eh school.
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Eyes and lips.
-- The best Name for a Butler: I'm sure I'll never have the privelage of having a butler..
-- Your best physical feature: Uh, idk, eyes?.
-- Your bedtime: As of yesterday 5 p.m
-- Your greatest accomplishment: Getting an 80 on my vocab. quiz...
-- Your most missed memory: When everything was okay family wise.
// series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: Pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Micky D's
-- Single or group dates: Single
-- Adidas or nike: Adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
-- Cappucino or coffee: Coffee
-- Boxers or briefs: Boxers
// series five - do you
-- Smoke: Yes.
-- Cuss: Rofl, yeah.
-- Sing well: I'd like to think so.
-- Take a shower everyday: Yes.
-- Have a crush(es): Yes.
-- who are they: John.
-- Do you think you've been in love: I am right now.
-- Want to go to college: Yes.
-- Like high school: Eh.
-- Want to get married: Yes.
-- Type with your fingers on the right keys: Yes.
-- Believe in yourself: Uhm, sure.
-- Get motion sickness: Rofl, yes.
-- Think you're attractive: No.
-- Think you're a health freak: Rofl, def. not...look at me.
-- Get along with your parents: No.
-- Like thunderstorms: Yes.
-- Play an instrument: I want to learn guitar, bass, and drums. So far I only have a bass.
// series six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: No.
-- Smoke(d): Yes.
-- Done a drug: No.
-- Made Out: Yes.
-- Go on a date: Yes.
-- Go to the mall: No.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I wish I had oreo's :(.
-- Eaten sushi: Ew, no.
-- Been on stage: No.
-- Been dumped: Rofl, yes, but I said no..
-- Gone skating: No.
-- Made homemade cookies: No.
-- Been in love: Yes.
-- Gone skinny dipping: No.
-- Dyed your hair: No.
-- Stolen anything: No.
// series seven - have you ever
-- Been caught "doing something": Yes.
-- Gotten beaten up: No.
-- Shoplifted: Yes.
-- If so, did you get caught:No, I'm slick like that.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: I don't think so.
// series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: Idk, like 22 I guess.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2, one boy and one girl, the boy will be born first and their names are Pheona and Lance.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Close family and friends in a church or on a beach.
-- How do you want to die: I'm scared of death, but I guess in my sleep would be the best thing.
-- Where you want to go to college: Here.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Something to do with child phsycology.
// series nine - opposite sex
-- Best eye color? Hazel/green
-- Best hair color? Dirty blonde
-- Best height? 6'1" or taller
-- Best articles of clothing: Band shirts and jeans.
-- Best first date location: Somewhere that we can be alone.
-- Best first kiss location: Where ever we are when we get that stare of "kiss me now".
-- Best quality in relationships: Talking problems out and being able to just sit with him and not be bored.
// series ten - number of
-- Number of girls I have kissed in my life: 1
-- Number of girls you have made out with: 1
-- Number of girlfriends you've had: None
-- Number of boys I have kissed: uhm 3 haha
-- Number of boyfriends you've had: 4
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 2
-- Number of CDs that I own: That I actually got at a store? Like three.
-- Number of piercings: 4
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Rofl, idk.
-- Number of scars on my body: I don't know, a few?
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[09 Oct 2004|08:28pm] |
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mood |
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really really sad |
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Hum, how should I start off this entry? Idk, maybe with how fucking frustrated I am? God this fucking blows. Alright heres a list of things that make me want to cry:
-I'm going to lose my house
-English class
-Alg.2 class
-Physics class
-Arogant people
-My mom
-My dad
-The State Government
-My sisters
and thats just a short list..
holy shit, fucking "my days" suck as of now. I'm losing my god damned house because fucking s.s wont give my mom her fucking money. What the fuck am I going to do. Uh, What the fuck is my mom going to do? Fuck this. I just hope we find a place to live in kearny. Wow, I'm so sad. I hate this fucking week. I fucking hate it.
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| WHAT! look whose got.. |
[06 Oct 2004|08:21pm] |
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mood |
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 as hell:):) |
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A NEW COMPUTER! LOOK WHO IT IS, WITH A NEW COMPUTER AND SPEAKERS THAT WORK! its me, that has a new computer , oh yes, yes it is, i love it, beceause its awesome, and plays music! THANK YOU JOHN! yeah, so this past week, i've been a little bit sick, i stayed home from school monday, it was chill. I have to take a test for Sr. Hon. English, i should do good though, because i studied like crazy tonight, I EVEN TOOK NOTES! what!? yeah, so i think it'll be good. yeah, so everything is going good, i really really love john, and i noticed how much i really do the other day. idk, he's everything and more to me. aww, look, puppy love rofl. yeah, so julie has the beetles on her hands, rofl, it's all good, we got tha shit unda control! I'm mad tierd, just chilling in my house right now, LISTENING TO FAITH NO MORE! what! im mad happy i got this music working. well, john did. MM I LOVE THAT BOY. alright, im out
-Ange
<3JOHN
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[26 Sep 2004|10:25am] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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Well, this is a good weekend so far. Friday I hungout with John all day<3. Then Jill came on sat. and we all met up in Elm park. Me, John, Jill,Evan, and Pat chilled in Elm park for a while, then we decided to hit up wendy's in lyndhurst. We got our food from Wendy's, and then we went to this park by walgreen's or how ever you spell it. We ate there, and there was mad bugs biting us:(. I saw a huge spider and decided I was leaving and grabbed my shit and left. Everyone followed and while me and Jill were walking to car there was some kid there and he was like, "hi." and I didn't know him and I was like, "HELLO!" all sarcastic like because he was staring at us. So then we went to pat's car, and John gave that kid a stoge. I stood ontop of Pat's car because, idk. then we went back to Elm park and chilled their for a bit. Me and Jill wanted cotton candy at the fair thing by BK and so we went there and me and Jill went on our mission to get cotton candy. I had an uninvited visitor grab my ass and asked me and Jill to go back to his house with him. We jetted back to the car with our cotton candy and I told the story, and JOHN WAS GOING NUTS:( I'm glad Pat just left, we wouldn't want some fighting going on or whatever. John was pissed and then we wnet to manor park...and i broke my knee off. it just fell off. Thats what it felt like. It hurts really bad.:(.Me and Jill were attempting cartwheels and my knee gave in or something, it twisted or whatever. Then John got mad again because he warned us not to do it on unleveled ground.He helped me up and walked me over to the bench and I sat down. Evan gave me the advice to keep moving it, and so I did and it didnt hurt anymore. then i went for a walk to the other side of the park. I layed on the slide thing and noone could find me, i didn't really know they were looking for me though. So i stoodup and they were all like"WHERE WERE YOU!?" blah blah blah. so then we all sat down, them 4 on the red crazy things that you can sit on and me and john on the silver slid that i was laying on earlier. Me and John got into the topic of ghosts and how our houses are haunted. My house sucks forever now.It's mad haunted:(.So we chilled in my house for a while, everyone telling mad ghost stories and whatnot, and everyone started freaking out, and went outside me and john came in, and then we had to get out because john saw something:(.Yeah, so then they had to leave so we said our goodbyes and that was it. Matt came up at like 12 something and Jill went out to talk to him, I couldn't because I was in the bathroom when he came here and plus my knee was hurting and i just didn't feel like going outside. Jill came back in, and we went to sleep basically. I was mad tierd:( and now we just woke up and we're waiting for our boyfriends to get up...HURRY UP SLEEPIES!
im out.
<3JOHN
<3PAT<jill.
-Ange.
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| the choice was mine i didn't think enough... |
[18 Sep 2004|12:24am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated with my self |
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Today was a good day, everything was going great. I hungout with John, had fun, then after we ate diner, we hungout with Matt and Pat. We just chilled for a while at west hudson park, I went to sleep in Matt's car, I was DED!12 Times dead! lmao..yeah, anywho..everything was all good, until I was stupid and fucked up everything! I'm so stupid and I hate how I act like a kid sometimes..I don't like looking back at something I did and feeling stupid about doing it. I'm noticing lately that I'm always picking out the negatives in me, and its making me really sad that I have so many. I don't know why I do it though. Maybe its because I don't think I'm good enough for John, or maybe its because I just don't think I'm good enough to begin with. idk, but I have work tomarrow at 2, and I don't even know if I'm going because I have this crazy stye in my eye, and its bothering the hell out of me, and it really really hurts. I'll have to put a hot cloth on it or something..alright, thats enough for me..I'm sick of typing.
<3JOHN
-Ange
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